| an update! |
[26 Mar 2009|11:42pm] |
+Just put a demo up of my new band A Thousand Kingdoms which you can find here: http://www.myspace.com/athousandkingdoms
+my car is a piece of shit and is messing up again. may need to buy a new radiator which would set me back a few hundred bucks.
+moving out of my apartment. i'm going to be living at lauren's parents' house for a month or two, until plans for the house take off again. most my stuff will be going into storage on sunday. packing/moving sucks assss!
+still working my life away.
+i've been going to the gym for the past two months. i like it a lot and i feel i'm starting to see some progress!
+i want to be more active this year. tentative plans i'm thinking of: hiking, picnic at golden gate park, camping, etc.
+got a new 32g iPod touch! love it!
that's all for now. i'll try to update this thing more often from here on out!
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[01 Feb 2009|11:48am] |
so i spent half my day yesterday in the ER. they still don't know for sure what happened. either i pulled a muscle in my groin or i got a hernia. but either way it sucked. i was in severe pain, fever and vomiting every twenty minutes or so. but i'm better now, just a little ache-y.
what's most humbling about the experience is that i missed out on the audition i was looking forward to. i called marco, the bass player i've been communicating with, and told him the story, so we're going to do it tuesday, which isn't a terrible wait, but still sucks. i was totally ready.
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| so. |
[28 Jan 2009|12:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 optimistic |
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| [ |
music |
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my demo i'm working on. |
] |
i have an audition for a band in san jose this weekend. i've been breaking in my throat (practicing my vokills, haha) the past few nights in preparation. i also requested an mp3 version of their demo on myspace so i can try and write something to it. i wrote some lyrics specifically for the demo, but scratched it. it just didn't feel right. so i came across a poem i wrote a few months ago (edit: turns out i wrote it a year ago, almost exactly). as a matter of fact, the same one i posted on livejournal. so i tweaked it, rewrote it, arranged it, and now it fits like a glove on this demo i'll be recording. i've spent the past hour or so on it and i love it. i'm going to record it first thing in the morning tomorrow. i haven't been this excited for anything in a really long time.
and after a year or so of painful apathy and indifference towards everything in life, me being genuinely excited is something worth noting. i can't wait. =]
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[14 Dec 2008|12:14pm] |
| [ |
music |
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minus the bear - ice monster |
] |
hi everyone!
i'm still alive!
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| VIVA LAS VEGAS! |
[07 Sep 2008|08:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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coheed & cambria - cuts marked in the march of men |
] |
so today i leave for vegas for 5 days for a company trip. so stoked! free trip, free pay, free games! and booze! super stoked! i leave in a couple hours, i'll be back thursday night!
for any that haven't heard yet, my old phone got disconnected, so either reply to this entry or email me on myspace and i'll give you my new number.
anyway, how's everyone been?
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| hey everybody! |
[05 Aug 2008|07:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
important announcement!
i just got promoted to a store manager, and now run the gamestop in Pacific Commons!
so stop by sometime if you're in the area, or have any kind of gaming needs!
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| twenty. |
[09 Jul 2008|10:07am] |
yesterday sucked ass! for those that don't know, i just moved out of the apt in hayward, and am now in an apartment in union city. i woke up at 6am yesterday, started moving at 8am, and didnt finish until 1230am. thats more than 16 hours of lifting shit, walking up and down stairs and dealing with crap in 90+ degree weather.
holy crap!
time to relax!
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| seas wash us away. |
[20 Jun 2008|12:35pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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divine heresy - failed creation |
] |
so lately i have not been well.
nothings felt right lately. i've just been going through the motions. work sucks. being at home sucks. nothings been making me happy like it normally would. i feel like i've been slipping away. from myself, from others, from those who care.
see, lately, i've had no escape. i work all day, i work all week, and i'm pissed off and tired the whole time. then i come home and deal with messes, and people are always over. which is ok, i like that people are over, but i have nowhere to go. see, i've found that occasionally i freak out like this when i have no space of my own. sharing a room has really started to take a toll on me. i have nowhere to go to be alone, to think, to just be. everywhere i turn i have to deal with everyone's insignificant bullshit. alex not being able to run his own life, rene and his weird drug induced habits, and inability to pick up after himself. and then if i do have time to myself, it's spent finding a place to live, because our dreams of finding a house to move to are basically shattered. so its back to apartment searching, which makes me the opposite of stoked. then i go to sleep, go to work the next day, and have to deal with more insignificant bullshit, deal with a store manager thats not worth the paper i wipe my ass with. can't stand it.
and i have no way out. no place to go, no medium to vent. and i'm starting to feel like i'm not amounting to anything in my life. and i'm starting to realize what it all means. all this stress i have is just building up inside me, wearing me out. but when i was playing music, the speed and aggression in said music was enough to kill all the stress in me. i felt incredible on stage. like i was more than just myself. some kind of iconic presence that was more than just myself. when i was up there, i felt like something. something more. i felt like i was doing shit in my life, which i can't say now. when i had shit to deal with, i'd put it in my lyrics. and i'd scream those words as loud as i could 3-4 times a week.
now i think its beginning to clear. i know what i need, and i need what i know. i need to feel those soundwaves blow through me. i need to scream all my stressors away. its time to get shit moving. because if i don't, i will waste away. slowly, but surely that's what will happen. i can't afford to lose myself anymore.
-i.
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[14 May 2008|12:31am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
] |
my head is a chaotic blend of paradox right now, and its making me a little bit not ok.
i feel like life is asking so much of me right now that i can't take it.
but i feel i'm not doing anything at all.
all i do is work. i work to pay bills, to be able to afford cool shit, and to be able to afford to do cool shit. but i don't go to school, i don't play music, and yet i feel like i have zero time. zero time to deal with the colossal amount of shit that gets trickled into my domain of responsibilities. like i don't have to deal with enough as it is. like i don't have to put up with so much bullshit at work as it is. i feel that everything that's important is suddenly my responsibility. getting us a place to live, checking the mail, cleaning the house, paying bills, its all my responsibility and mine only. and on top of that i take upon things that aren't my problems at all, like encouraging alex and rene to get jobs, and encouraging lauren to get her license... suddenly i'm thinking about it more than they are. im pretty sure thats not how it should be. now i'm not sure if the problem might just be me caring too much, or the involved parties too little. but maybe i think that i've become too dependable. every doesn't care to mend their shit and figure they'll just throw it on me to take care of, because they know that that way, they dont have to think about it, and it'll get done.
like with the house, i've received zero help from anyone involved. i've been hunting for places to live for the past month straight. just me. it would be wonderful if someone did SOMETHING. maybe i'm just ranting but i'm really getting fed up with people being fucking lazy and being fucking negligent. i want to get things started up in music but my 'drummer' doesn't have his drums up here, will never wake up at regular hours so we can practice, and the 'guitarist' i have lined up i'm beginning to think i can't depend on anymore so i'm thinking about disregarding his slot completely. no one seems to show any initiative and its really starting to get under my skin. i wonder what would happen if i stopped caring. if i just watched from the sidelines like everyone else in my life. what would happen at my store? in the apartment? and everywhere else?
the worst part is that i care too much to even let that thought be anything more than that. a thought.
i know i've heard the phrase, "if you want something done right, do it yourself," but god damn am i sick of it. i'm sick of having to know the answers for everything. i'm sick of having to fix all your mistakes. i'm sick of doing all the work. i'm sick of making phone calls. i'm sick of going out of my way for nothing. i'm sick of depending on the undependable. i'm sick of being the person to turn to for any littlest thing.
i don't mind helping. i don't mind being there. i don't mind being the responsible one.
but fuck i'm really starting to think i got the short end of the stick for a lot of things. and i'm really starting to get fed up.
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| r.i.p. xbox360 |
[08 May 2008|11:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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indifferent |
] |
i'm not that upset actually. i was already planning to trade it in in a week for a 360 with an hdmi port. now i actually have a legit reason to sell it.
-i.
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| TO ANYONE THAT PLAYS CALL OF DUTY 4 |
[15 Apr 2008|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
i just finished a match... with 326 points.
thats 32 kills. and 3 assists.
that included:
2 UAV's.
2 airstrikes (with UAV support)
and 2 helicopter support. (i only called one of them though, the match ended before it was possible to call in my second. my first was still going.
)
and 2 10 kill streaks.
i completely ran out of ammo and had to pick up a random gun.
i died twice.
that is unmistakenly the greatest match i have and ever will play.
the ending score was 750 to 200.
meaning i had more kills than the entire opposing team.
holy fuck i feel so accomplished right now.
=]]]
-i.
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[20 Mar 2008|01:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 furious |
] |
whenever my life gets too stable, or i feel too comfortable with my current situations,
something comes along to remind me just how mortal i really am.
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[03 Mar 2008|11:29pm] |
for those that haven't heard, i now work at the gamestop in the fremont hub!
come drop by if you have any video game related business!
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[01 Mar 2008|09:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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ecstatic |
] |
i got a new tv! and it is
H-D-Licious!
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